Little deaths | The Mission Society Blog

I had to drop off my son for his first day of all-day daycare. Samuel is a little more than two-and-a-half years old. So far I?ve managed to keep him home, in Parent?s Morning Out, or with a sitter, and never had to leave him at daycare all day before.

I packed his bag with extra clothes, his lunch, and his favorite stuffed animals for nap time. I excitedly told him about how fun it would be to nap on a cot (in a room he?s never seen before, full of kids, with teachers he?s never met). And I assured him he would have fun and make new friends.

I fought back the tears as I dropped him off, careful so he wouldn?t see me getting upset as the teachers had to pry his sweet hands from my neck. I made it out the door and to the receptionist area before I burst out crying. Sobbing, actually. Uncontrollably sobbing.

The receptionist was very understanding and gave me a Kleenex and assured me I could call and check on him.

Many of you have taken your child on their first day of daycare (often at three-months old), left crying, called to check on them, and know exactly where I?m coming from. We?ve all experienced these ?little deaths.? Times when we feel like a part of us is dying.

Actually, I believe those deaths are more than ?little.? They hurt. Like when we have to leave a parent or grandparent at a nursing home. Or as our missionaries say goodbye to friends and family and leave everything they?ve ever known.

This time of year often fills me with anticipation (and, if I?m honest, some anxiety). As kids go back to school, I always think back to my first days in a new place. As a painfully shy kid, the new school year was marked with the unknown. I didn?t like the unknown. I liked the comfort of the expected.

I wish I could say that the little death of leaving my children at daycare has gotten easier. It hasn?t. It?s been four months since that first day and the teachers still have to pry my children?s hands from my legs or neck each morning.

But, I hope my children will learn the lesson I?m still learning. I hope they?ll see that the unexpected holds an adventure. That if they stayed home with me all day they wouldn?t have some of the same experiences or meet some of the same friends.

When I think back to all of those first days of school that I dreaded, most of them turned into a wonderful adventure. I?m thankful for the places I?ve moved, the people I?ve met, the experiences I?ve had. That?s not to say it wasn?t hard. Transition is hard.

Sometimes God forces us into new experiences that we can only appreciate later. God calls us to continually leave our comfort zone as we learn to trust Him more.

I love the little cartoon below. That?s totally me. Jesus dragging me around, making a groove in the sand. I hope I learn to get up and walk with Him more readily.

Source: http://themissionsocietyblog.com/?p=2117

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